Your wedding day in California felt like the moment your relationship became official. Now you are sitting at the kitchen table, splitting up a house, retirement accounts, and time with your child.
The law in California treats your marriage no differently than anyone else’s, but that doesn’t make separation and divorce any easier. The Sands Law Group, APLC, stands beside you as you protect your property, support, and parental rights. We can help you plan for what comes next after a same-sex divorce.
How Does the Divorce Process Work for Same-Sex Couples in California?
California ends a marriage the same way for every couple, regardless of gender. If you and your spouse are ending a legally recognized marriage in Los Angeles, your divorce follows the same forms, court process, and timeline as any other divorce in the state.
You also have the same rights and responsibilities as any other married couple. The real work ahead lies in protecting your property, finances, and your relationship with your kids. That becomes easier with a dedicated and seasoned LGBT divorce lawyer on your side.
How Do Same Sex Couples File for Divorce in Los Angeles?
Under California law, you or your spouse must have lived in the state for six months and in Los Angeles County for three months before you can file here.
California also carved out an exception for couples who married in the state. Those living somewhere (including outside the U.S.) that will not end a same-sex marriage can still file for divorce in the California county where they got married.
Once you file, the law imposes a six-month waiting period. The clock starts ticking from the date you serve your spouse with the divorce petition. That clock runs no matter how quickly you and your spouse agree on terms. Filing sooner rather than later protects your timeline.
Will Our Case Go to Court?
All divorces in California require a judge’s intervention, but most cases never reach a trial. You and your spouse can resolve property, support, and custody through mediation or a series of negotiated agreements. If you disagree about custody or visitation, California law requires you to go to mediation first.
A mediator helps you talk through a plan without a judge deciding for you. This works. A 2025 study looked at custody mediation across 35 California courts. Those courts handle more than 80% of the state’s family law cases. In that study, 64% of couples reached a full or partial agreement. The mediation option is usually preferable to a trial because it:
- Prioritizes cooperation over confrontation,
- Usually takes less time and money than a trial,
- Keeps matters private instead of public,
- Leaves decision-making power in your hands, and
- Opens the door to more creative solutions.
You can also settle property and support issues outside mediation. Many couples use collaborative divorce. Each side hires a lawyer trained to negotiate a deal rather than fight in court.
A judge still reviews and signs off on the final terms, but you skip the stress and cost of a trial. Our lawyers can help you pick the path that fits your case.
Will Our Years Together Before the Wedding Count?
One of the concerns for many couples in a same-sex divorce is the precise period that counts when settling the key matters. Couples who lived together for many years may have shared assets or property long before they married. Naturally, they wonder whether those years count in a divorce.
The answer is: not automatically. California courts usually count only the years you were legally married, not the years you spent together before the wedding. This mostly affects how long you may pay or receive spousal support. Property follows a different rule, based on when you acquired it, not how long you were together.
Spousal Support and Marriage Length
Judges usually tie the length of support to the duration of the legal marriage, not the relationship. California did not let same-sex couples marry again until 2013.
Say you and your spouse were together for 18 years, but only married for 7 of those years. A judge may only count those 7 years. We can help you push back on that outcome. Our lawyers often bring joint leases, shared bank statements, and proof of a domestic partnership into the case early.
Proof that you relied on each other before your wedding date can help. It can convince a judge to count those extra years. Waiting too long to raise this can cost you an edge you will not get back.
Community Property and Separate Property
Property works a bit differently. California lets you keep what you owned before the marriage. This is known as separate property. Property you and your spouse built together during the marriage is community property. Courts split it down the middle in most cases, but separate property does not always stay separate.
Say one of you owned a home before the wedding. If your paychecks during the marriage helped pay down that mortgage, the community may own part of that growth. The same can happen with a business one of you owned before marriage: if your work helped it grow, the community may own part of that growth, too.
What Makes a Same-Sex Divorce Case Different for Parents?
Sometimes, only one spouse is a child’s legal or birth parent. The other spouse may never have finished a second-parent adoption or a parentage judgment. If so, that spouse’s parental rights are not automatic in a same-sex divorce.
California courts still decide custody and visitation based on the best interest of the child. They consider:
- Each parent’s relationship with the child,
- The child’s health and safety,
- Any history of abuse, and
- Any other relevant factors.
A spouse who never legally established parentage has no presumed right to custody or visitation. This spouse may not get a say in the outcome at all.
If this sounds like you, act now. Establishing parentage before your case moves forward protects your place in your child’s life. It can also affect who owes or gets child support.
Why Do Los Angeles Families Trust The Sands Law Group?
You do not have to sort out property, support, or custody on your own. The National Institute of Trial Lawyers named The Sands Law Group, APLC, Best Law Firm in America in 2025. Trust Analytica also included our firm in its list of the Top 10 Child Custody Lawyers in Los Angeles.
Led by Thomas D. Sands, a respected family attorney in L.A., we serve clients of all backgrounds in English, Arabic, Hebrew, Spanish, and French. We can help you settle the key matters in an LGBT divorce. The sooner we start, the more room you have to protect what matters most to you. Book a free case evaluation today.
